Q. What do I do about inviting children?
A. If you are not inviting unlimited children, you may decide to include family members only, children of a certain age, or no children at all. It is inappropriate to write “No Children” on the invitations. Instead, communicate your wishes by writing only the parents’ names on the inner and outer envelopes—and through word of mouth.
Q. What do I do about including partners?
A. Partners of invited guests must be included in a wedding invitation. This includes couples who are married, engaged, or living together. Allowing single guests who aren’t attached to a significant other to bring a date is a thoughtful gesture, but one that is not required. A single invitation addressed to both members of a married couple, or a couple who live together, is sent to their shared address, while invitations to an engaged or long-standing couple who don’t live together are sent separately, to each address. Envelopes addressed to a single friend that include “and Guest” indicate that he or she may bring an escort or friend.
Q. What do I do about guests who ask to bring guests?
A. It is impolite of a guest to ask if he or she can bring a date—but it is not impolite of you to refuse. Say, “I’m sorry, Stan, but we have very limited seating at the reception and we just can’t accommodate any additional guests.” However, if you discover that they are engaged or living together, invite your friend’s partner, either verbally or by invitation.
Q. What do I do about invitations to out-of-town guests who can’t possibly attend?
A. Many people prefer not to send invitations to those friends and acquaintances who they think cannot possibly attend the celebrations. In most cases, these friends should receive a wedding announcement instead, which carries no gift obligation. However, some good friends who live far away might actually be hurt if you don’t invite them, even if your intent was to spare them from feeling obliged to send a gift. In general, always invite truly good friends—even if they live far away.
