It is customary for the groom’s family to host the rehearsal party, but it is not obligatory; if the groom’s family does not or cannot give the rehearsal dinner, one may be arranged by the bride’s family.
When: The rehearsal dinner is held immediately after the rehearsal, generally the night before the wedding day.
What: It may take the form of a formal or semiformal sit-down dinner or buffet, or it can be as informal as a beach party or a picnic.
Level of formality: The only guideline is that the rehearsal party should not be more formal than the wedding reception.
Who attends: Those invited should include the members of the wedding party (except for the flower girl and ring bearer), the officiant, the parents and grandparents of the bride and groom, and the siblings of the bride and groom if they are not in the wedding party. If the bride or groom has stepparents, they are invited with their spouses but should not be seated next to former spouses. The wedding party’s husbands, wives, fiancées, fiancés, and live-in companions should be invited, but it’s not obligatory that they have dates. The children of the bride or groom from a previous marriage also attend, unless they are too young. After that, any number of people may be invited (totally optional), such as out-of-town guests, close friends, aunts and uncles, and godparents. Junior bridesmaids and junior ushers may also be invited if the hour is not late, as may the flower girl and ring bearer (if supervised).
The bride and groom’s responsibilities: The rehearsal dinner is the perfect occasion for the presentation of the couple’s gifts to the bridesmaids and ushers if they haven’t already given them.
Toasts: Toasts are ideally made toward the end of dinner (otherwise the night might drag on). The host—often the groom’s father—should make the first toast, welcoming the guests and expressing happiness. He is generally followed with a return toast by the bride’s father and then by toasts from attendants and anyone else who wishes to say something. Sometimes the bride and groom stand and speak about each other; they generally end by proposing a toast first to their respective parents and then to all their friends and relatives in attendance.
