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Parents Want a Longer Guest List

My future in-laws insist that all "their" guests remain on our invite list.  How should my fiancé and I handle this?

WP_parentswant_WOAs a general rule, each family is allotted half of the desired total guest count, a figure determined by the person hosting the wedding.  Explain your reasons for wanting to keep the list where it is.  If you cannot afford more people and your future in-laws offer to pay for additional guests, it's fine to graciously accept.  If the size of your venue prevents you from lengthening the list, point out that extra guests would require you to change the reception site, potentially losing deposits - something you're not willing to do.  Once you've explored all the options, if there's still no way to invite more people, you and your fiancé must stand your ground.  Be open to an alternate way to meet your future in-laws's friends, via a second reception that your goom's folks would host.  This is often a solution when parents want a larger wedding.

My fiancé is friendly with an ex-girlfriend and wants to invite her to the wedding.  I'd prefer it if she didn't come, but am I too sensitive?

Generally it's not a good idea to invite exes.  Doing so has the potential to make the bride or groom feel uncomfortable; relatives and other guests might feel uneasy about it too.  Talk to your fiancé about how you feel.  Assure him that you are not opposed to her friendship with his ex but just don't want the reminder of their past relationship at your wedding.  He should respect you wishes.  If you happen to run into the woman socially, you don't need to mention you wedding - this is something you fiancé can handle.  He should be honest and kind, tell the ex that they can continue as friends, and ask her to understand. 

 

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